This Mindful Museletter
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This Mindful Museletter: Who, What, When, Where, Why, and How?!?

This Mindful Museletter: Who, What, When, Where, Why, and How?!?

Who?! Part 1

Irene Kuykendall
May 27, 2025

Whenever a new business makes its messy way into the world, folks tend to have a ravenous curiosity about the identity of this new entity. So, let’s get right to it. Over the next few Museletters, we will be exploring and discovering how This Mindful Muse intentionally identifies itself as a way of introduction.

First, let’s address “Who?!".

This Mindful Muse is the brainchild of entrepreneur, Irene Kuykendall (c’est moi!). Having spent the past decade in education, actively instructing students of all ages how to overcome their anxiety, take up space unapologetically, and own their authentic energy, I decided I could serve more people in a different format.

Exhausted on the hamster wheel of the non-profit grind, I loved the work, but I was consistently living in this fight-flight-freeze-or-fawn existence, and it was depleting my spirit while wreaking absolute havoc on my mental wellness and physical health. Despite feeling lit up while connecting with students through building community, establishing safety, and engaging with the art of play, the demand was never-ending. I found myself having accidentally normalized embodying burnout full-time.

I knew something needed to change, drastically, but I didn’t know what. In the background, I had gradually continued my own healing journey when I was suddenly thrust into an embodied spiritual awakening (2.0), and it hit me- I was the thing that needed to change. Cue: It’s me, hi, I’m the problem, it’s me!

Despite feeling that “I knew better,” I was continually modeling behaviors that had been programmed into me via the school system, societal expectations, family dynamics, and more. Where was my say in this “agreement”? When had I been asked for consent? Was I simply performing as expected, allowing subconscious programming to take the wheel while my soul ached for more? How did I end up here? More importantly, how could I reclaim my power?

Having always worked to ensure the support, safety, and wellness of others, I continued going out of my way to better understand the needs of colleagues, friends, students, and family members. I mindfully prepared, so I could meet folks exactly where they were, put them at ease, and build trust. I intentionally peppered community-building activities, mindfulness exercises, play discovery, and energetic embodiment into every lesson. I sat back in awe while witnessing the seeds take root time and time again. I tried versions of this approach with different groups of people, varying age ranges, and shifting dynamics.

I had successfully incorporated all of the tools, techniques, and tactics that had allowed me to survive a mental health crisis in 2020 into creatively crafted lesson plans, courses, classes, workshops, and projects. Based in neuroscience, energetic teachings, performance technique, and somatic healing practices, this system was capable of shrinking or expanding to fit varying needs, circumstances, people, and places. Additionally, I felt emboldened to continually rediscover the flexibility within the uniquely designed structure.

I was honored to share time, space, and energy with all who were teaching me while I was intending to instruct. Their example reinforced a major takeaway: knowing something in your mind and demonstrating it through your behavior are two very different things.

Sadly, what I was sharing and modeling in class didn’t always follow me home. I preached self-care, but worked myself to the point of absolute exhaustion. I spouted boundary creation, communication, and maintenance, while still overfilling my plate to the point that the plate itself disappeared. I demonstrated an inclusive atmosphere in the classroom, but didn’t practice self-acceptance for all the parts of my existence once I was at home. Was I a hypocrite?

I had the ‘perfect job’ and was practically applying my skill set while building community, serving others, and getting paid for it. What wasn’t to love about that? Why did my soul feel uneasy? Why was there a secret ache for something to shift, change, or be released? It made sense on paper, right? RIGHT?!? Wasn’t this what I had always wanted?!

Then the Universe, knowing me better than I like to admit, decided to parent me by limiting my options. Knowing that I would choose to pile endless sweets on my plate until I made myself sick, it removed the sugary, short-term serving, and addictive options, so all that remained was healthy, balanced, and fueling.

Like any proper toddler, I was incensed and tempted to throw an energetic temper tantrum. “But I waaaaant this! It’s myyy choice! This is sooo unfair!” I felt attacked, limited, and disempowered. Yet, under the surface, something quietly waited for me to come back to center and listen.

My inner voice and the presence of the Universe offered me comfort and seemed to say, “I know that you would continue to sacrifice your own wellness, ‘for the children,’ until the end of time, but this is not in true alignment for your highest good. You have steeped in toxic, fight-or-flight environments for so long that those spaces have become normalized in your nervous system, despite the fact that you build safety for others in the classroom. You need to learn how to rebuild safety for yourself. You need to prioritize your own wellness, empower your own authentic energy, take up your own energetic space, and claim your own inherent worth.”

I knew in my spirit that this transition was best for me, but still felt the sting of change and the threat of the unknown. I sensed the impending approach of another Dark Night of the Soul, incrementally building trust that I could, no, would come out the other side transformed, but feeling uncertain about the experiences that would take me through it.